The neighbur

I started spending time at the neighburs place, he always had time for me and always told me what a bright and kind child I was.
I was starved for attention and felt like he was the nicest person on earth.

After a couple of months the conversations started to be about the body and sexuality.
I was 8 years old.
At first it was rather innocent questions but slowly the questions was getting more advanced. Questions about how my body was developing, if I had hair below, if my breasts had started to develop.

I was really embarrassed and he changed the subject.

A few weeks later I ran up there as my parents had a huge fight and sat in his sofa. Suddenly he was sitting next to me and before I knew what happened his hand was in my pants. His fingers was trying to get into my most secret parts.
He was using his upper body to keep me in the sofa and I felt like I couldn't move.

I felt shame afterwards. I blamed myself.

My body kept developing. At 9 I had breast, not big but enough so I wasn't able to hide them. To many of the men where I grew up felt they had a right to touch, "got to feel them apples".
This was done in the open, even with my parents around so it became something I hated and tried to avoid but I didn't do anything about it.

I always felt like I was an object, a thing you could do what you wanted with and spent as much time as I could in the woods and used to climb up on my rock.

They blasted half a mountain to make a road through my community and I used to climb that wall to get all the way up on top, a good place to hide. No one else dared climb there.

So far my bed are safe, apart from screaming and beating but that is about to change soon.