On my own

Suddenly I find myself in a place where I don't have to be afraid. No one can come in to my room when I sleep. The door is locked and I have the only key. I become a mother and feel that I have all I ever wanted and needed. I had turned off so much of myself but this was something all new.

During my pregnancy my brother left home. He couldn't stand the constant abuse and move to our father instead. It wasn't a good home there either but he wasn't beat up daily. Now my sister was all alone. One day she came to me after school and said she couldn't stand it anymore, could she please stay the night. That night turned into a year.

There was of course both good things and bad things with this arrangement. Good part was the company, bad part was the added responsibility and the financial burden I was not really able to cope with.

After a year my sister moved to our dad just like my brother did.

I´m now 19 years old and my life is starting to get better. I have a nice home. A great life and a wonderful son. I´m happy.

I miss my siblings but I feel good knowing that they are safe and not being abused. At our dads place the neglect is total but no abuse. The only one he ever did hit or abuse mentally is me.

I put my guard down and starts to relax. I shouldn't have.